Beautiful Girls

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Saturday, December 31, 2005
12/31/2005 09:50:00 PM
Many thoughts as the year came to an end - entering into the year of 2006..


Thou I've a new love but somewhere in my heart I still feel as if this year is no diff from my any other year ba. Esp when I was reading the blog of others earlier today, read many of them having plans of count down in town tonite either with their loved ones or family. Seeing all the fireworks and talking excited about the resolution for the year while looking forward to the new year. But me? I've got no such plans and even have this hunch that things will not get any better for me. And worse of all, I caused someone to be lonely not only on x'mas eve, but also on new year day. Haiz..such a failure I am...


In fact this whole year has been both a good and bad year for me..so many things to say..yet duno where to begin with..But anyway guess this is the best time to ponder abt them as the year come to a close.. =)


The year started with me in tears...and later on the ending of a relationship that I tot could last..Who knows how tough it has been for me during that period..well..partly the others duno coz I am not one who tell others my problems easily..lest I become vulnerable to their "attack" or they may think negative of me?


Then my family hasn't been doing fine. I suppose one of the sadest thing that happen is the death of my grandpa. Would like to pay tribute to him as he was the one who has watch me grow up and also doted on us alot. The regret I have was that I could not get to see his face for the 1 last time even as the coffin lid close as I din have my glasses or contact lens with me..worse still din even get to see him breath is last breathe despite me being the one doing the nite watch..coz i actually doze off~! But still, will always be missing him..haiz~


Then later part of the year started working in aunt's audit firm. It was a memorable experience whereby I pick up alot of skills there and moz importantly made lots of friends there..some of those are my mentor (May), Wendy (Always kana bully by me) and also Jason (My audit manager who is a funny yet a no-nonsense guy esp when its time to "tok biz")...


It was during that period that I met Eddy. He is a totally sweet guy to me (and he still is till today), minus the occasional tiffs that we had. With little surprises he gives me every now and then, it touches my heart that he is still trying to "spice" up the r/s instead of letting things between us become mundane. One thing I am happy abt is that during this months we have been together, he change alot or rather tailor-made himself to suit my specific needs (hey..not as if I've got wierd needs hor.. =S )..Probably despite my many failed r/s this 1 could finally work out rite? =)


During this year, I also gained many friends. One of whom I bacame much closer to was Peixin. She was there to hear my problems, just as I was there for her when she needed. Then there was Ava whom I only got to know only during Management Maths class this year. The 2 of us were also like 2 chicken backsides who just can't stop talking when we meet, even if we are in class. But at the same time, I've lost a group of friends whom I got to know right from day 1 of school. Some may be thinking that I was feeling sad or something like that but, no, am not. Coz these are the friends who make a clown of me and have total no regards for me. If ever I were to feel that it was a pity leaving the group, it would be becoz of Jessie. She was my 1st friend (knew her from orientation). She was such a sweet friend and still ask me to go back to the group and still come round to talk to me despite her knowing all that happen. This I really appreciate~! =)


Alot of memorable things happen around us this year too, that set my mind thinking abt it.


One of which is the hanging of the austrailian drug traficker in SG that resulted in a big uproar in Australia where they are totally against capital punishment. Haiz..in the 1st place, this is SG and we are a sovereign state. So why in the world do the ppl in down-under think they have the rite to obstruct the way we sentence a criminal that committed an offence in our boundary? And more so its DRUG TRAFFICKING~! So many lives lost for no reason if we do not do something to deter such inhumane acts. But on the other hand, I would also think that the hanging of that tracficker will not be of too much of a help as there are the bigger fishes out there. Haiz..the world is never fair..the bad always get away with things until a long long time before they are finally caught..


Then there is another issue that is worth pondering about. That would be the NKF issue. Gosh..who would ever think that a miserable sum of 10 cents out of $1 is given to the patients? Lots of fraud and scandals involve in this whole case..that once against put to shame abt the role of audit whose purpose is to detect such "nonsense" in the accounts. But in any case with each article about that case I read it makes my blood boil. How can anyone be so unscrupulous as to even take the $$ donated by the public out of goodwill for their own benefits? Imagine giving themselves several pay rise in a year at the expense of the patients~! grrr~! But still, we should still donate if not what would happen to those unfortunate patients. But of course, this time round we should require more accountability and transparency of the accounts of these charity organisations, unlike in the past where these organisations need not be subjected to the strict audit as faced by the corporate companies.


Then finally (not as if the list ends here) it my neighbour. Just can't seem to curse them enough. They are such an irritant that I could even dream of killing them all in my sleep. Esp that gangster like son of theirs. Wish someone would juz bash him up and show him what he deserve. Not too much a punishment bahz, probably juz break his arm or something since he is juz another asshole and can't even stick on to a job for long and all he does is to disturb our life. So those limbs of his or even his life is worth nothing. That scatter brain should juz make himself scarce on this face of the world~! grrr~!


But what my day which marks its significance was that we finally called the police and they came knocking on their door just as they were happily singing away and merrily that they have irritated us. Well, yes, they have really irritated us. And thou I know that this will not the end of their nuisance but at least..I was filled with glee at the last day of the year. Hohoho~! Guess what was 1 ridiculous thing they said to defend themselves? They said that they had the right to sing and if we can't take it then WE have to close the door. Shit them~! In the 1st place, they DON'T have the hell of a right to sing and kaoz...damn cheapskate ppl~! Like to screech so much then go to KTV...Bloody hell~! If not better still, get their fat ass to a bigger house (that is if they can afford which I doubt they can't coz they are all a piece of shit who can't even hold their job for long). Suckers~!


So that is why I say this is a year full of goodness..yet lots of things piss me off too..hope the next new year will be a brand new year for me where I can enjoy life happier with all my frez and loved ones. Minus those irritant pest, of cos~! Duh~! =P


With this year coming to an end, guess its time to make a New year wish? well, what I really want is freedom. Freedom to do the things that I always wanted to do. To have a peaceful life with my loved ones..lesser tears and fighting. And of course, most importantly is to be able to get a good honours for my degree and get a good job. Probably in the auditing field? Wow, if those I mention is really gona happen..It would really b great~! Not as if my wish is very difficult to fulfil mahz, rite? =)


Maybe I should be evaluating myself too? Well, this year I've been rather hot temper. In fact, I think sometimes my temper gets so fiery that I got scared too. That's y was tinking to myself that not many people not to say guys can stand it. But at the same time, more and more I am beginning to fight my right. No longer will I just stand there and let people get away with things that they've done to me. Probably this contributed to my temper? But at the same time I know more and more to treasure r/s esp those who have treated me well. Call this the effect of turning 21? No longer I do things w/o thinking. In fact more and more I thinking further and further into the future. This makes some people think I think too much. But what to do? I ain't got many years of "golden" years. No longer can I afford to waste my time doing things with no outcome or outcome that does not benefit me or those involved. No wonder I keep hearing this saying from the mouths of the adults: "Kids are so fortunate, living such a carefree life". This, I am begining to feel it too.