Sometimes I envy.
Sometimes I am filled with jealousy.
How come 2 people of the same background have 2 different types of life?
Be it siblings. Be it friends.
One year ago, I wished for all my heart & soul. The one & only thing I would ever wish for - my OWN FREEDOM.
Believe it or not. Never once, since young had I ever wished for any material things with as much hope.
But till today, my little wish has never come true.
I am beginning to doubt whether it will ever come true.
I am not being grumpy or wanting too much out of life. But if only anyone out there could ever understand me & what I am saying or simply putting yourself in my shoes.
Many have formed many bad impression of me. Even people who used to be closest to me; people I could trust.
Standards being set that seem strangle me to no end. Standards set according to how they see life & the way they think life should be.
But have anyone ever asked me what kind of life I want to lead? Anyone ever bothered to find out what kind of girl / person I really am?
I really don't know. I doubt so.
Sometimes I feel like as if I could just walk out of this life forever. Not caring a damn about what others think. But being alone with only my own belief make me feel so out of place. Makes me have so little courage to face what come may.
If only I had someone - someone close to my heart to encourage & support what I do.