For the past 2 weeks I was not working but on exam leave. Have been feeling rather stressed thou.
This is not only coming from my exams stress but also from work.
Have been terribly disturbed every one day or two. Every day or two I will definitely get calls from the office asking me this and that. Making me feel like as if I would be at their mercy to be asked back to work despite me being on exam leave.
Why is it that I have to go through all this? I wonder how these leave-wreckers, be it the managers or whoever who calls to spoil others leaves like it if their leaves are being shortened and they being recalled back or when they keep receiving calls.
I've come to realise that people in my company like to recall people back when they are on leave or call to disturb them. What the hell~!!
And today, the BEST ultimate - my colleague asked me if I could go back to clear the mess that ANOTHER colleague had created. Solely for the lame reason that no one has the time to clear it up.
Why? Why is it me? I don't suppose I am the one who created this, am I? Why is it that when I asked her for help she told me that she has no time to help me, despite the manager asking me to pass SOME of my outstanding matters to her while I am on leave. When she said that she had no time to for me I graciously said it fine I will do it when I am back. Then now, what gives her the idea that I would be FREE to clear up the mess for her? Not that I am being vengeful as not to "help" her, but if I was so free to come back earlier from my leave I wouldn't be asking her for help in the first place, right?
For the past few weeks before my exam leave starts, I've been fighting so hard to get my leave. It is not as if I have not applied for it and it has not been approved. Fact is it has been approved long ago. I fought for it so hard that when my leave finally starts (1 day later than it should have been), I was terribly drained of energy.
I feel like I have been fighting a long war.
I guess that if it was not for darling's encouragement and Ah Hong's words of telling me to be firm in what I think and fight for what I think is right, I most probably would not even be having my exam leave. Probably still being exploited. Haiz...
Somehow it sets me thinking that is it like this in other companies too? Even in the big 4?
Wish someone could answer me on that... =(
Now that I am facing such a situation, I begin to wonder is it that I am TOO good (which I seriously don’t think so) or is it that I am TOO easy to "bully". I always see that my other colleagues around me having a much easier time than me; at least they are not like me having more and more work piled on them faster than they could handle anyone of them.
When I was schooling, I used to hear people say that the working world out there is ugly.
So ugly that you can't even trust your own friends in there.
Now I am slowly beginning to understand this saying.
With my coming to 1 year of working life, I am seeing more and more ugliness, people only caring about their own interest – making use of people whenever given the opportunity. But when help is required from you, they will give lots of cock and bull crap stories. Makes me depressed thinking of this.
Probably some may think that with my changed of attitude as compared to when I just started work it means that I am not a motivated as I used to be. But I can say that this is not true, I still love to learn as I work but I've got a limit too. I don't suppose that I could actually learn quite effectively when things are just pilling up on you with everyone and everything just SCREAMING out to get your attention for things to be done.
Guess with so much pent-up frustration and unhappiness and all its really time for me to move on and look for another job. Soon...